Dang! Life is complicated...

So last night was a bad/good night for me. First of all, I cried. Second of all, I cried in front of Matt. Matt and I took a drive up to the Bountiful Temple on our way to his place from hanging with his parents. Everything was going fine until I was thinking about future things-- happy tears!.... and then it all went down hill from there. I started thinking about when I get married and how my father won't be there. Yes, he will be there in spirit, but it isn't the same. I started thinking about the pictures, the hugging and future talks I won't be able to have with him. Oh here comes the water works! It's not that I am ashamed or embarrased that I cried.. it is basically that I let my guard down and got so emotional. I want to be able to open up to my future companion (aka matt--since we were all thinking it :) ) but for all my life I have been dealing with stuff on my own. It was a great release for me to be able to share things from my hard times with him. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about some what of how I feel and last night I shared some. I told him something that I haven't talked to anyone about and it helped me a little bit. I still have issues and will probably alway's have issues. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and that He is with me alway's.